How to Build Confidence – Getting Started
Alright, let’s be real for a second: to build confidence and self-esteem is tricky. We all want to feel like we’ve got it together, but some days it just isn’t there. Maybe it’s a tough day at work, an awkward social situation, or just one of those moments where you look in the mirror and think, “What am I even doing?”
If that sounds familiar, don’t worry—you’re not alone. Building confidence isn’t about being perfect or having all the answers. It’s about showing up, putting in the effort, and learning to trust yourself. And here’s the best part: confidence isn’t something you’re born with; it’s something you build. Let’s dive into how you can do just that.
1. Figure Out What Confidence Means to You
Before you can start building confidence, you need to get clear on what it actually looks like for you. Is it about feeling capable at work? Being a great dad? Taking control of your health? Confidence isn’t the same for everyone, so it’s important to figure out what it means in your life.
Once you know what you’re aiming for, you can focus your energy on the things that matter most. Stop trying to live up to someone else’s definition of success. Confidence starts with knowing what you want and going after it, not trying to fit into someone else’s mold.
2. Get Strong—Physically and Mentally
Let’s face it: when you feel strong, you feel capable. And no, I’m not saying you need to be the next Arnold Schwarzenegger, but moving your body regularly does wonders for how you feel about yourself. Go for a run, hit the weights, or even just take a walk. The goal isn’t to look a certain way; it’s to feel good in your own skin.
But don’t forget the mental side. Confidence is just as much about what’s going on upstairs. Take care of your mind by doing things like journaling, meditating, or just unplugging from the chaos of daily life. Building mental strength helps you stay calm under pressure and bounce back when things don’t go your way.
3. Dress Like You Care
Here’s the deal: what you wear matters—not because of what other people think, but because of how it makes you feel. When you throw on a shirt that fits well or lace up a nice pair of shoes, it gives you a little extra pep in your step.
You don’t need a wardrobe overhaul to start feeling more confident. Just make sure your clothes fit well, are in good condition, and reflect who you are. When you feel like you look good, it’s easier to walk into a room with your head held high. A great way to build confidence.
4. Surround Yourself with Solid People
You know that saying, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”? It’s true. The people around you have a huge impact on how you see yourself, so take a good look at your inner circle. Are they building you up, or tearing you down?
Find people who inspire you—guys who challenge you to be better, who celebrate your wins, and who aren’t afraid to call you out when you need it. And if you’ve got people in your life who are constantly negative? It might be time to set some boundaries.
5. Focus on Your Strengths, Not Theirs
Let’s be honest: it’s easy to get stuck comparing yourself to other people. Your coworker’s killing it at work, your buddy just bought a new car, and that guy at the gym looks like he stepped off the cover of Men’s Health. But here’s the thing—they’re not you.
Instead of obsessing over what other people have, focus on what you bring to the table. Are you the guy people turn to when they need advice? Do you have a knack for solving problems? Are you someone who can make others laugh even when things are tough? Whatever it is, own it. Confidence grows when you appreciate your own unique strengths.
6. Embrace Your Screw-Ups
If you’re afraid of failing, you’re holding yourself back. The truth is, everyone screws up—whether they admit it or not. What sets confident men apart is how they handle it. Instead of beating yourself up when things go wrong, treat mistakes like a learning opportunity.
Think about it: every time you fail, you’re getting one step closer to figuring out what works. So take the hits, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward. Nobody gets it right the first time, and that’s okay.
7. Do the Hard Stuff
Growth doesn’t happen when you’re comfortable. Confidence is built by doing things that scare you a little—like speaking up in a meeting, starting a conversation with someone new, or tackling a challenge you’ve been avoiding.
Here’s a tip: start small when you want to build confidence. If the idea of giving a presentation freaks you out, practice speaking up in smaller settings first. The more you push yourself, the more you’ll realize you can handle way more than you thought.
8. Keep Learning and Improving
Want to feel more confident? Get better at something. Whether it’s learning a new skill, taking up a hobby, or reading a book, investing in your growth gives you a sense of accomplishment.
Think about an area of your life where you’d like to improve. Maybe you want to get better at communicating, learn to cook, or finally tackle your finances. Whatever it is, commit to it. Knowing you’re growing and improving is a huge confidence booster.
9. Take Care of Yourself
Let’s talk about self-care. And no, I don’t mean bubble baths (unless you’re into that—no judgment). I’m talking about the basics: eating good food, getting enough sleep, and staying active.
When you take care of yourself, you’re sending a message to your brain: “I’m worth the effort.” And let me tell you, that simple act of valuing yourself can do wonders for your confidence.
10. Help Someone Else
One of the best ways to feel better about yourself is to do something for someone else. Whether it’s mentoring a younger guy at work, volunteering your time, or just listening to a friend, helping others reminds you of your own value.
It’s a win-win: you’re making someone else’s life better while boosting your own sense of purpose. Plus, let’s be honest—it just feels good to know you’ve made a difference.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
Here are some resources to help you to build confidence:
- How to Be More Confident: 9 Tips That Work: This article from Verywell Mind offers practical advice on boosting self-confidence. Read more here.
- Building Confidence: Practical Tips For Men To Boost Their Self-Esteem: An insightful piece from Medium’s Mind Cafe, focusing on confidence-building strategies tailored for men. Check it out here.
- Mental Health: The World Health Organization provides comprehensive information on mental health, including strategies to strengthen mental well-being. Learn more here.
Also, check out this video. You might find it helpful. Yeah I know, he made a spelling mistake in the title, But it is worth watching anyway if you want to build confidence.
How to Build Confidence and Self-Esteem The Final Words
Confidence isn’t something that happens overnight. It’s a process—a series of small, consistent steps. But as you put in the effort, you’ll start to notice changes. You’ll walk into situations with more assurance, tackle challenges without hesitation, and show up as the best version of yourself.
So here’s your challenge: pick one thing from this list and get started. Because the world needs more confident men who know their worth—and there’s no reason that can’t be you.
